On Saturday, I drove to the centre of the city, parked the car and went to the roadside ticket machine. Having entered my registration number and inserted the requisite coins I pressed the button and nothing happened. I retrieved my coins, tried again and concluded that the machine had probably run out of tickets. I drove round the corner, used a different machine and parked.
I noticed there was a telephone number on the ticket machine to report problems so I decided to be a good citizen and call it. A thoroughly rude and abrupt man answered and the following conversation ensued.
“Wardens, yes, what do you want?”
“The ticket machine on Wellington Street is not working.”
“You didn’t enter your registration number.”
“I did, I’m just letting you know…”
“You didn’t put in enough money.”
“I put in the correct money…”
“Press the button to get your money back.”
“I have my money back, I’m trying to tell you to that the machine is …”
“Just go back and do it properly.”
“Please listen, the ticket machine on Wellington Street is not...”
“That’s because you’re not using it properly.”
“Please stop arguing and listen. The ticket machine on Wellington Street isn’t working. I have now parked somewhere else, and got a ticket from another machine.”
“So why are you phoning me?”
“To tell you that the machine on Wellington Street isn’t working. It’s a nuisance if people want to park.”
“Which machine is it?”
“The one outside the library.”
“What number is on the machine?”
“I don’t know, I’ve parked somewhere else now.”
“There are four machines on Wellington Street, how am I supposed to know which one it is?”
“There is only one outside the library.”
“I have work to do, I haven’t time to deal with nuisance phone calls.”
And he hung up.
Maybe people don’t usually phone the wardens to report problems. Maybe traffic wardens deserve their reputations after all.
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