Sunday 17 April 2011

The Leg is Mightier than the Plank


I had a temporary contract as an ICT teacher. The headteacher had decided that employing an ICT specialist was a waste of money because Thomas Telford School had just introduced a scheme that would guarantee every pupil the equivalent of 5 A to C grades just by sitting in front of the computer. The school failed its Ofsted inspection and went into special measures soon afterwards.
So I was a waste of money until the scheme started.
I was teaching a year10 class, 14 year olds with attitude. About 10 minutes into the lesson the special needs co-ordinator (SENCO) came in accompanied by Nigel. Nigel rarely attended lessons because of his disruptive nature and his habit of thumping teachers who dared to tell him off. He spent most of his time in the special needs department. Although Nigel was on my register for this lesson, I had never taught him before
The SENCO was an old guard communist party member who drove a Lada to show solidarity with the Soviet workers, despite the collapse of the regime, and had the idea that Nigel’s behaviour was a response to capitalist oppression.
I was instructed that Nigel should be allowed to use a computer and told to back off and let him get on with whatever he wanted to do.
Nigel’s attention span was quite short. He played a couple of games, surfed the Internet and, being frustrated, wandered around the room chatting to the girls.
He returned to his seat and started examining the bench. It was supported on a timber framework and a few good kicks soon broke one of the supports.
I went over and suggested that he should refrain from his destruction and move away from the computers. His response was immediate. He leapt to his feet and denied that the damage was anything to do with him. I pointed out that I had observed him do it.
He grabbed a pointed piece of timber from the wreckage and swearing every other word, called me a liar and threatened to kill me. I was at something of a loss as to what to do. I could probably have disarmed him, put him on the floor and sat on him, but that would have been assault and landed me in court. Fortunately, while I dodged his attempts to stab me, another student went for help.
The SENCO returned. Nigel dropped his weapon, burst into floods of tears and ran over to her.
“Oh Nigel,” she said, “what has that dreadful Mr. Whelkstall been doing to you?”
Nigel explained how he had been sat at the damaged bench and, having drawn it to my attention, had been falsely accused. The SENCO threw an arm around him, gave me a dirty look and took him back to the special needs department for tea and biscuits.
I have no doubt that Nigel would have stabbed me if he had the chance and I was very shaken. The headteacher came into the room, made some comment about my classroom management and told me to clean up the mess. So having been the victim of a murder attempt I spent my break tidying up the broken bench before teaching the next lesson.
That’s not the end of the story. A few weeks later Nigel was called into the headteacher’s office to answer for some transgression. While there he smashed a chair and threatened to kill the headteacher with one of the chair legs. For that he was permanently excluded. The headteacher was so distressed by this attack that he was off sick with stress for three weeks.
I didn’t sign his get well card or contribute to the collection for a gift.

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