The Worm is a Seg

Three times a week since the start of the academic year, Natasha has dutifully copied the date and the title of the science lesson into her science exercise book. There was some physics, chemistry and, most recently, biology.

Biology is obviously the subject that has made the most impression on Natasha because it was that section which contained a page that contained any other writing than the date and title. On one page in neat handwriting were the words, “The worm is a seg.” That was all.

Natasha isn’t a difficult pupil. The science topic I was covering was food chains. Following the short note that passed for a lesson plan I asked her, and the rest of the class, to copy the illustrations, labels and notes from the textbook into her exercise book. She worked solidly throughout the lesson and by the end the centre pages of the exercise book contained, not only the date, title and staples, but a creditable copy of the textbook.

Perhaps Natasha now knows, not only that the worm is a seg, but that rabbits eat lettuce and foxes eat rabbits.*

I’m only a supply teacher. I had never met Natasha before, but in that meeting I had discovered that she had written nothing worthwhile in her science book for more than two terms. I also discovered that with the minimum of prompting she was capable of doing as much work, albeit only copying, as everyone else in her science class.

Clearly, nobody is checking, or, if they are checking, are just accepting that some pupils do no work and do nothing about it.

What should I do about it? I depend on supply work for my living. Any criticism of a colleague, actual or implied would simply mean that I would not be asked back to that school again. My intervention would be ignored because supply teachers lack authority and status.

Would Ofsted pick it up? Almost certainly not. They usually inspect a selection of books chosen by the teachers, and Natasha’s would not be submitted.

Working as a supply teacher gives you a unique access to what is happening in schools. Having no status or authority means that nobody feels threatened by your presence. You’re not a scientist so there’s no assumption that you understand the lesson and since Natasha never misbehaves there is no reason you should report anything about her from a lesson.

What you have discovered is absolutely vital to the education of Natasha and children like here. She is not learning and she is not being taught effectively. She spends three hours a week in science lessons doing nothing and nobody appears to care.

Later the same day, I met Natasha again. I was covering a special needs class that she was in. This lesson demonstrated the school’s very effective learning support system for English and Maths. In a small group with teaching assistants supporting, Natasha and the other pupils did all of the work required of them.

I have no idea how much work Natasha does in other lessons, but I have seen the same pattern in every subject – pupils with exercise books containing no work at all and maybe a few doodles.

In a few years time, at the age of sixteen, Natasha will have had some three thousand hours of science teaching, but will almost certainly fail a foundation level examination that is little more than a general knowledge quiz.

There is something very wrong with this.

* What do rabbits eat? If they are pets living in someone’s garden then they may get lettuce to eat, but are probably safe from foxes. In the wild, rabbits eat grass and hedgerow plants. Why does a textbook have to trivialise?

The Leg is Mightier than the Plank

I had a temporary contract as an ICT teacher. The headteacher had decided that employing an ICT specialist was a waste of money because Thomas Telford School had just introduced a scheme that would guarantee every pupil the equivalent of 5 A to C grades just by sitting in front of the computer. The school failed its Ofsted inspection and went into special measures soon afterwards.

So I was a waste of money until the scheme started.

I was teaching a year10 class, 14 year olds with attitude. About 10 minutes into the lesson the special needs co-ordinator (SENCO) came in accompanied by Nigel. Nigel rarely attended lessons because of his disruptive nature and his habit of thumping teachers who dared to tell him off. He spent most of his time in the special needs department. Although Nigel was on my register for this lesson, I had never taught him before

The SENCO was an old guard communist party member who drove a Lada to show solidarity with the Soviet workers, despite the collapse of the regime, and had the idea that Nigel’s behaviour was a response to capitalist oppression.

I was instructed that Nigel should be allowed to use a computer and told to back off and let him get on with whatever he wanted to do.

Nigel’s attention span was quite short. He played a couple of games, surfed the Internet and, being frustrated, wandered around the room chatting to the girls.

He returned to his seat and started examining the bench. It was supported on a timber framework and a few good kicks soon broke one of the supports.

I went over and suggested that he should refrain from his destruction and move away from the computers. His response was immediate. He leapt to his feet and denied that the damage was anything to do with him. I pointed out that I had observed him do it.

He grabbed a pointed piece of timber from the wreckage and swearing every other word, called me a liar and threatened to kill me. I was at something of a loss as to what to do. I could probably have disarmed him, put him on the floor and sat on him, but that would have been assault and landed me in court. Fortunately, while I dodged his attempts to stab me, another student went for help.

The SENCO returned. Nigel dropped his weapon, burst into floods of tears and ran over to her.

“Oh Nigel,” she said, “what has that dreadful Mr. Whelkstall been doing to you?”

Nigel explained how he had been sat at the damaged bench and, having drawn it to my attention, had been falsely accused. The SENCO threw an arm around him, gave me a dirty look and took him back to the special needs department for tea and biscuits.

I have no doubt that Nigel would have stabbed me if he had the chance and I was very shaken. The headteacher came into the room, made some comment about my classroom management and told me to clean up the mess. So having been the victim of a murder attempt I spent my break tidying up the broken bench before teaching the next lesson.

That’s not the end of the story. A few weeks later Nigel was called into the headteacher’s office to answer for some transgression. While there he smashed a chair and threatened to kill the headteacher with one of the chair legs. For that he was permanently excluded. The headteacher was so distressed by this attack that he was off sick with stress for three weeks.

I didn’t sign his get well card or contribute to the collection for a gift.